Saturday 1 November 2008

Ripple in Still Water

In the food blogging community we have many things we would rather keep private. I have my fair share. But some parts of our lives need to be spoken of. Today my post is in memory of my twin sons who were stillborn on this day last year.

I wish it was easy to celebrate their first birthday. I wish they were here to enjoy it. Nevertheless they are with me in my thoughts. They have been appearing on my blog if you only know where to look and they will continue to do so. There will be cake today. Happy birthday Alex and Ian. Always remembered.

Noble Nature

Ben Jonson (1573–1637)

It is not growing like a tree
In bulk, doth make Man better be;
Or standing long an oak, three hundred year,
To fall a log at last, dry, bald, and sere:
A lily of a day
Is fairer far in May,
Although it fall and die that night—
It was the plant and flower of Light
In small proportions we just beauties see;
And in short measures life may perfect be.


To see others' experiences see Wife in the North's article, Jane Hansen's experience as told in the ABC Australian Story television program and her book Three Seasons, and Mary Coustas' article in The Sydney Morning Herald.

  • All Saints Day, also known as All Hallows or Hallowmas.
  • The Day of the Dead, a day to honour dead children and infants in Mexico.
  • The Youruba people in West Africa have a statue carved, called the Ere Ibeji, to represent each child when their twins die. 
  • In Japan, the god Jizo is believed to be the guardian of children who died before their parents, especially those who have been stillborn or miscarried, and his statues can be found at roadsides and gravesites. 
  • Shidu is a Chinese phenomenon (rather than tradition) denoting the loss of a parent's only child. 
Alex and Ian's birthdays:


  1. That is so sad to hear, I dont really know what to say, but I couldnt read your post and not say anything

  2. Oh Johanna. I'm sending you a big hug.

  3. What a terrible loss that must be for you. I hope your day goes well while you think of your little angels

  4. ::hugs:: fom someone who understands some of what you went through.

  5. You are very brave Johanna. I am thinking of you and sending you a hug.

  6. A giant virtual hug to you both.

    Lucy XX

  7. thanks everyone for your kind thoughts

  8. Oh Johanna, I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. As a Mum I can only begin to imagine the pain and loss you must feel.

  9. A big hug to you Johanna. I hope your day of rememberance is kind to you

  10. What a brave and lovely post, Johanna. I hope that the day went ok xx

  11. My thoughts are with you Johanna. A very touching post.

    Sending you a big hug,

  12. I'm a bit belated but am also thinking of you. We share a grief day (also appropriately the day of the dead in Mexico) with my brothers death at 33. Sometimes its hard when its so sunny and everyone is celebrating the joys of spring, to be in that dark, cloaked space...

  13. Oh, Johanna, that must have been so difficult to write. A sad and beautiful post.

    I hope your day of remembrance brought you some loving and peaceful feelings. This is a beautiful tribute to the boys.

  14. johanna big hugs to you at this time. it has been a time of birthdays around here too so i can only begin to imagine what things might be like for you in commemmorating this great loss. hooray for your celebratory cake, and your courage too.

  15. Johanna - I don't have the right words but my best thoughts and wishes are coming your way.


  16. I'm sorry for your loss Johanna, your cake that you made is just lovely. *hugs and thoughts*

  17. thank you for all your thoughts and hugs - much appreciated

  18. More thoughts and well wishes to you & E, Alex & Ian. xox

  19. Oh goodness, I'm so sorry. Enormous hugs to you. xx

  20. double hugs Johanna for your beloved boys and an especially squeezy, joy filled one for Sylvia too x x x x x

  21. I just discovered your blog recently and ran across this post. Thank you so much for sharing about your experience! We suffered two miscarriages before having our son, and I always struggle with how to commemorate what would have been their birthdays. So far I have done fresh flowers and extra prayers, along with a donation in their name to charity. I love your idea of a birthday cake as well. All of your little ones are lucky to have a mama who is always thinking of them!


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