Tuesday, 1 November 2022

Remembering Alex and Ian 15

Today is 15 years since our sons, Alex and Ian, were stillborn.  We remember them.  We miss them.  We wonder what might have been.  It was hard to think of them as little babies but even harder to wonder how they would have been as adolescents.  We have eaten cake today to remember them.

It is my tradition to post a memorial post each year.  And some of the links to articles about stillbirth over the past year.  I continue to learn more every year. Recently I read a Twitter thread (which I can't find again or elsewhere) about Shidu, a term for bereaved Chinese parents.  It was discussing how Chinese parents depend on their child and when their only child dies it creates great social and financial difficulties that could impact the Chinese economy if Covid  was allowed to cause  a critical mass of deaths.  I was interested in a term for bereaved parents, which I haven't come across before.  Here's more to read:

‘We have a new capacity for pain’: comedian Rob Delaney on life after the death of his son, The Guardian, 23 October 2022.
Rob Delaney interviewed about his new book about his baby son's death, A Heart that Works.

"The silence is deafening." The unspoken pain of stillbirth. Mama Mia, 22 October 2022.
Cathy Nguyen reflects on the stillbirth of her first child and being torn between the two worlds of motherhood and grief.

COVID-19 vaccine may protect pregnant women from SARS-CoV-2 placentitis and stillbirth, News Medical, 12 October 2022.
Drusilla J. Roberts and colleagues recently published a literature review in the American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology about stillbirth due to Covid19's effects on the placenta and how vaccination can protect against this.

Stillbirth: 'Finding my baby's grave gave me comfort', BBC News, 12 May 2022. 
Lillian Thorpe did not know where her stillborn baby was buried for 6 decades and the stillbirth was hidden from those around her.  She was helped to find the grave and found it a comfort.

What doesn't kill you makes you ... don't get me started, The Age, 28 October 2022. 
Kerri Sackville writes an opinion piece about how trauma does not make people stronger.  The research backs her up.  Having people say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger or everything happens for a reason, puts unnecessary pressure on victims.

How people like Meghan Markle, Britney Spears and Cristiano Ronaldo are changing the way we talk about miscarriage and stillbirth, ABC News, 28 May 2022. 
Angelica Silva writes about the silence and stigma around Stillbirth that is being challenged by celebrities and others on social media.

The unspoken grief of multiple stillbirths in rural Pakistan: an interpretative phenomenological study, BMC Women's Health, 22 February 2022. 
Asim et al interview bereaved mothers and found that they were let down by the health system and shunned socially.

Stillbirth rates rose in Melbourne's COVID-19 lockdown, despite dropping overall in past three years, ABC News, 25 November 2021.
Tegan Taylor writes about the surprising discovery that stillbirth rates rose during lockdown in Melbourne though it is not clear why this was so.

Cristiano Ronaldo Shares Photo of His Newborn Daughter After Losing Twin Boy: 'Forever Love', People, 30 April 2022. 
Cristiano Ronaldo, Manchester United player, mourned the death of his twin son and celebrated the life of his twin daughter.  Heartbreaking and difficult.


  1. Johanna- I'm thinking of you and sending hugs from across the globe. Thank you for highlighting these articles which are working against the stigma and taboo of these painful events.

  2. I can't even begin to imagine how different lockdown would have been for your family with two teenage boys in the house! Stillbirth really is a loss that never ends. Thank you for sharing those articles; every year, I am grateful to you for your news roundups, but sad for the reason for it.


Thanks for dropping by. I love hearing from you. Please share your thoughts and questions. Annoyingly the spammers are bombarding me so I have turned on the pesky captcha code (refresh to find an easy one if you don't like the first one)