Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Remembering Alex and Ian 4

Four years ago today our twin sons, Alex and Ian, were born and died.  We remember them and all that they were and might have been.  On the weekend we ate cake in their memory.

This year I have discovered that Australian film maker Sarah Watt had a stillborn child and made a short film called Small Treasures (1995) about a baby who dies before birth.  I would love to see it.  You can read her account of her own stillborn child in Worse Things Happen at Sea by William McInnes and Sarah Watt.

I also read of British actress Amanda Holden's stillbirth.  There is an insightful article in the Telegraph newspaper (Amanda Holden - "I know the pain of having a stillborn son, too", 8 February 2011) relating to it by Dr Alexander Heazell whose son was stillborn.

Previously on Green Gourmet Giraffe:
This day in 2010: Remembering Alex and Ian 3
This day in 2009: Remembering Alex and Ian
This day in 2008: Ripple in Still Water

17 comments:

  1. I'm still so sorry for this loss Johanna. I'm thinking of you, your husband and Sylvia, and Alex and Ian, today and this week. I am also very glad that you talk about this, and that others are doing the same (and even making films), hard as I am sure that is to do. After having a friend lose twins at 20 weeks gestation last year, I realised how much these things are still swept under the carpet (so to speak) and how much harder that makes things.

    A very happy birthday to Alex and Ian - I am sure they would be grateful for the celebrations you have to honour them.

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  2. oh Johanna. How very heartbreaking :( Lots and lots of hugs xxxxx

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  3. Darling, I thought this must be coming up soon. My heart is, as ever, with you, and please know that I'm closing my eyes and giving you, their father, and their sister a hug that one day soon I hope I'll give in future. xoxo

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  4. My sincerest sympathy is with you and your family, Johanna. Wishing you all strength and solace at this time and always.

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  5. Such a nice way to honour them each year. Thoughts are with you and E during this painful time of year!

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  6. As hard as these posts are to write, I'm sure they help others out there who are or have gone through the same thing. And for Sylvia, how lovely for her to grow up knowing about and sensing her brothers. As always, I'm sending you all lots of love and hugs. xo

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  7. Lots of love to you and your family Johanna xxx

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  8. Sending you loads of love and big hugs across the miles Hun.

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  9. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My love to you and your family.

    Catherine

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  10. Hugs to you and your family on this sad anniversary.

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  11. Thanks everyone for your kind words - they are a great comfort

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  12. Johanna, you are truly a wonderful mother - every year you honour your babies. They may be gone from the world, but they are forever in your heart and life. x

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  13. My mother had 2 miscarriages and a stillborn son between my sister and I.... It leaves a trace for sure and I think it's really healthy you remember your boys... it's also really important to talk about for others who have gone through this so thank you!

    My parents were so shocked that my sister lived that they still didnt have a name for her when she was 2 weeks old (premi in hospital) the nurses made them pick a name on the spot... a laura brannigan song was on the radio... and my sisters name is laura..

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  14. Dear Johanna,
    the heart is an amazing organ: able to heal from such tragedy while always being forever changed by the hole carved in it from such a loss. Even when other children come along there's a blend of joy and sadness there that will always be felt for what might have been.

    But isn't the female body amazing too, it seems to yearn to produce and often it happens quickly after such heartbreak. Amanda Holden's son died the same week week we miscarried our miracle baby and now we're both expecting rainbow babies (she's expecting a girl and reflected that perhaps she just isn't able to carry boys)

    I came across this website this week after one of the bloggers I follow took part (24. Claudia). I was really moved by the video logs posted by babyloss mothers. They're a very emotional watch and although they speak of such sadness and loss there is such hope and resilience of human spirit in them too. http://stilllifewithcircles.blogspot.com/2011/10/spoken-word-blog-round-up.html
    with lots of love, Nic x

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  15. Thoughts with you and E. So glad you commemorate this day, I'm sure it's not easy, but I'm sure it's so much better for you all, including Sylvia to have it out in the open. I so wished we'd celebrated my baby brother's birthday.

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  16. I never quite know what to say, but think that you're very brave to share something so personal. My thoughts are with all of your family. Happy Birthday to Alex and Ian.

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  17. Thinking of you, Johanna. I think it's beautiful that you do these posts each year. xx

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